Dr. Shellie

Suppose you are forced to choose between the following two options: 1) Work as a tigerkeeper, in the zoo, until retirement, or 2) Eat only burned food for the rest of your life.

Which do you choose?

Lucky me, I got Rat Guy again the other day as my cab driver. These days he is not bringing the rat along in the cab. However, he is training the rat to do tricks in hopes of getting her on David Letterman. As I was comfortably settled in the back seat of the cab, he explained the rat’s achievements to date: she will jump up from the sidewalk into the cab on command. As in, on to the seat. Where I was sitting as he was telling me this. Hrrrmmmph. Not a nice thought.

To answer all the emails in my inbox, and see it completely empty.

I have the best two students in the world. Smart, motivated, focussed, positive, cheerful, helpful, and happy to come work with me in the fall.

Now off to finish that postdoc…!

Dear Professor Shellie,

Thank you for your time and effort during the application process. I received offers from your university and Highest-Ranked Super-Famous University. It was a very hard decision as these are both excellent universities. At Highest-Ranked Super-Famous University, I was offered a project with Extremely Famous Tenured Full Professor to study Hottest Topic Ever. After giving it careful thought, I have decided to go to Highest-Ranked Super-Famous University.

Best wishes,
Formerly-Prospective Student

Dear Formerly-Prospective Student,

I am shocked, absolutely shocked that you chose a position with Extremely Famous Tenured Full Professor at Highest-Ranked Super-Famous University over the RA position I offered you in my group! Where is your sense of vision?! Just wait until my lab takes over the world.

Best wishes,
Prof. Shellie