When in doubt, do not hire!
Favorite conversation among profs:
A. OMG, my student is being a major pain in the ass.
B. Really? What’s up?
A. He isn’t doing any work. And when he does do work, it sucks. And he takes vacation all the time.
B. Fire him!
A. But NOOOO! I can’t fiiiiire him. He’s sending his student stipend back to Randomland to support his orphaned little sister.
B. Right. But is he doing any work?
A. Uh… no… well, a little… though it’s usually late… and actually, I have to replot all his graphs… and recheck the derivations because I’m not sure they’re correct…
B. Fire him!
A. But I can’t just…
B. Fire him!
A. But…
B. You’re getting paid by a federal agency to carry out this research. If you don’t get results, the program manager isn’t going to renew your funding. No one is going to save you if you let your student slack off.
A. But…
B. FIRE HIM!!!
A. Umm… I’ll think about it… Anyway, you’re a big talker. Have you ever fired anyone?
B. Well no, but I wish I had. My postdoc’s being a major pain in the ass…
Ha is this a call for random prince/princess postdoc stories? Cos we all know a few labmates that we wish our PI would fire…
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