Dr. Shellie

I had forgotten how hard it was to network with women.

Starting in college, all my classes were filled with men. My problem set groups were mostly men. The seminars I attend and conferences I present are filled with men, too. My personality adapted accordingly. I am mostly comfortable with large groups of male scientists, though I still feel I must prove myself– that their expectation is that someone who looks like me is probably not too bright. So I fight hard: flaunt my credentials, try to say some clever things, and make sure my ideas are properly cited. I am used to this. That’s just how work is.

Now, I also belong to a group for women in science, and we get together for monthly meetings. These feel completely different than my normal working environment. There is far less pressure to appear bright, driven, and successful. But there is an implicit value put on being upbeat, positive, and cheerful (rather than ironic, sarcastic and bitter!). I am not sure how much of this is a male/female difference, and how much due to a difference between academics and scientists working in industry, which many of these women are. In any case, I’m an outlier in this group. At our last networking social, I won a Starbucks gift certificate in the networking game– while I was racing around the room filling in answers on the sheet, no one else seemed to realize we were playing. 

So now I am adapting again. It’s not a bad move — I suppose everyone would appreciate my being a little more upbeat, positive, and cheerful.