Dr. Shellie

Favorite conversation among profs:

A. OMG, my student is being a major pain in the ass.

B. Really? What’s up?

A. He isn’t doing any work. And when he does do work, it sucks. And he takes vacation all the time.

B. Fire him!

A. But NOOOO! I can’t fiiiiire him. He’s sending his student stipend back to Randomland to support his orphaned little sister. 

B. Right. But is he doing any work?

A. Uh… no… well, a little… though it’s usually late… and actually, I have to replot all his graphs… and recheck the derivations because I’m not sure they’re correct…

B. Fire him!

A. But I can’t just…

B. Fire him!

A. But…

B. You’re getting paid by a federal agency to carry out this research. If you don’t get results, the program manager isn’t going to renew your funding. No one is going to save you if you let your student slack off.

A. But…

B. FIRE HIM!!! 

A. Umm… I’ll think about it… Anyway, you’re a big talker. Have you ever fired anyone?

B. Well no, but I wish I had. My postdoc’s being a major pain in the ass…

I really enjoy editing papers. I like figuring out which parts are unclear and making them clear.

Maybe this has something to do with the fact that I actually like washing dishes?! I enjoy having a finite task that involves cleaning up. 

Today one of my students passed his quals. It was great. He is the first student from my group to do so. (Well, one of my students from another department has done his already, but in that department, the quals come much earlier, so it is not really equivalent.)

My student did a really excellent job. First, he developed his presentation on his own. Then we had a group meeting where the whole group gave feedback. I was very proud of everyone — they gave him excellent comments on everything from slide layout and ordering to deep questions about the motivation of the research. I felt like my training had really paid off. Based on the feedback, my student totally revamped and reorganized the presentation and did a fantastic job in the actual exam. It was well-organized, targeted, and thorough. And he answered every single question he got with a thoughtful and knowledgeable answer. I was really proud to see what a mature scientist he has turned into. Pretty soon he will not need me at all, anymore.

Later in the day, another one of my students came to meet with me about his research. He has been doing some great stuff on his own that builds on experience he had from his masters, and lies outside my main expertise. I was really impressed with his initiative and enthusiasm. This is also a success story: this student was not very motivated a year or so back and progress was slow. He has totally turned around and is becoming extremely creative and productive. In this case the secret was this: "when exactly do you want to graduate? Because you need X more papers." He totally got it, and has taken off like wildfire. Yay.

Every student is different.

Some students need to be yelled at; some students need to be gently encouraged.

Some students need to talk to you once a day, others once a month.

The best students need the least time, but make you want to spend the most.

Uniform policies are fine, but a uniform management approach is ineffective.

How to make your advisor happy:

1. don’t argue
2. immediately do whatever s/he tells you to
3. work as much as humanly possible
4. get tons of results

1. argue back; think about whether ideas make sense
2. do what makes sense to do next, even if it’s not what your advisor said
3. work hard, but in a way that’s sustainable and keeps you happy and healthy
4. get lots (maybe not tons) of deliberately-targeted results